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This subject isn't for everyone. In fact, the idea of working through an argument or disagreement with someone is a complete turn-off. Most people will do anything they can to afford conflict.

I've seen all types of behaviors rise up in people from avoiding eye contact, ignoring calls and texts to gossiping, spreading hurtful stories, and even ending friendships.

The inability to work through an argument or unpleasant situation can affect many areas of our lives - even when we are steadfast in believing that "we are right".

While it can be challenging at times to slow down in the heat of a disagreement, it is important to develop your ability to work through emotions and practice arguing healthfully.

Believe it nor not, arguments can produce positive results, providing that both individuals realize that it is a persuasive action, which moves another person to take action: In some cases, one person may argue and will not back down until he or she has proven right. Often, there are underdeveloped issues that have led to this problem.

Through interlinked notions or ideas that support some belief, people will argue their point to someone else while standing firm with their beliefs. Some people invoke fights because both parties are underdeveloped. Neither party has reached the maturity level of self-development. For this reason, an argument will bring out and sometimes end up into a brawl. To avoid brawling one can develop his or her ability to give positive arguments that produce good results.

How to argue effectively:

In this instance, we are going to use an example of a problem that we can work through while using our mind to solve the problem. Thus, this tactic will help you build your critical thinking skills. First, make a list of the causes that you find relevant to the problem. Clarify the problem by using affirmation. Next, create a list of the effects that relate to the problem.

Review my list below:

Must finish articles for client

Must have the house organized by tomorrow

Must prepare a new business proposal


The problem is obviously expectations that I must meet.

List of effects:

Miss work sometimes

Stress from the house being disorganized which leads to a disorganized mind

Stress over proposal

Now, list some of both positive and negative effects that link to the solution.

1. Negative Effects - Too many articles for one person to write in a day. I can finish most tonight and have the others done in the morning. Positive

2. It takes a few hours to clean the house they way I like it. It is discouraging that I have to do by myself. My kids need to chip in more.

3. Stress over getting proposals into the right hands.

Continue creating negative and positive lists until you come up with the best solution to solve your problem. Likely our problems are different - So write your issues rather than try to figure out mine. It takes me to solve these issues - as it does you to understand yours.

Once you find the best potential answer to solve your issues, write up a final assessment to see what you come up with. Each time you follow this structure you can resolve mental arguments effectively.

By using visualization and affirmation, you can reach for higher grounds of development.

The mind should be encouraged to stay focused while you assess your problems.

Always write your problems down, so you do not leave anything out.

You may miss a good point that could help you solve arguments.

If you find yourself arguing with others often, use this tactic to resolve the issues, rather than both of you becoming emotionally upset, you can end the argument smoothly.

Take some time to visit the Internet as well, so that you can discover other ways to provoke mental pictures in your mind to help you create affirmations that enable you to make better choices. Steady evaluate as you think through problems, rather than letting others get to your emotions.

Remember, when emotions feel threatened, no one gets anything accomplished, especially when one acts on their emotions without much forethought.

So be honest with yourself and work towards being open, understanding, and forgiving. You can work through any issues - IF YOU choose it. The choice is yours, and what you attract into your life is simply a reflection of your current state of being. So choose to work through issues even when you "feel" uncomfortable. You will grow, you will become stronger, and you will see that their is something positive to always learn because you have put the work into developing your mindset.

Didiayer Snyder

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